Barney: Man wartet nur einen Monat lang auf Sex, wenn die Freundin 17 Jahre und 11 Monate alt ist!
Lilli: Ich muss binnen neun Wochen eine Hochzeit für 200 Leute auf die Reihe bekommen. Selbst wenn jeden Moment ein Dino seinen Kopf aus meinem Arsch rausstreckt und diesen Beistelltisch hier verputzt hast du Verständnis für mich, okay?"
Marshall: Lilly, Du bist die unglaublichste Frau, die ich kenne und verdienst ein unglaubliches Gerät.
Lilli: Aber die Größe deines Geräts hat mir doch immer gereicht!
Marshall: Peinlichkeitsregel Nr.1: Es ist nur peinlich, wenn wir Peinlichkeit zu lassen.
Barney: "Es ist ent- warte gleich kommts- zückend"
Ted: "oh god, now she sent me a message, that was clearly meant for someone else."
Robin: "Are you sure?" reads: "Hey babe, just got some take out from genero's. be home soon" "ok, let's think about this...could be for a brother...or a sick dad!"
Ted: "Scroll down!"
robin reads: "and then i want you to do me on the couch!" "uhhh...maybe not a sick dad...or a very sick dad, am i right?"
Marshall: But just to make sure it records, maybe we should bow our heads and say a quiet prayer to the TiVo gods.
Ted: Almighty TiVo, We thank you for all the gifts you have given us. The power to freeze live TV to go take a leak is nothing short of god-like. And let's not forget fast-forwarding through commercials. It seems greedy to ask anything more from you, o magic box, but if you malfunction and miss the Super Bowl, we will destroy you in the alley with baseball bats.
Marshall and Ted: Amen.
Barney: Christmas is a time when people are lonely and desperate, it's the most wonderful time of the year.
Barney: Look around you, Lily! You are in the heart of Bachelor Country. And as a woman, you are an illegal immigrant here. Now, you could try to apply for a sex visa, but that only lasts twelve hours...fourteen if you qualify for multiple entry, heh!
Lily: Ewwww....is something some lame, judgemental chick would say, but I say 'gimme multiple high-fives'!
Barney: WOW, you really are desperate.
Lily: I really am.
Robin: "Wow, Barney, you have a gay brother?"
Barney: "Yes, he's the most good-lookingest, most awesomest, greatest guy ever!"
Lily: "...yeah...he's just like Barney..."
Barney: "That's what I just said!"
Ted: "That cute lil' coffe girl wrote a heart by your name!" sings: "somebody has a crush on you"
Barney sings: "somebody thinks you're me-eeee"
